Get all 5 Wizards of Boat releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Heavy Handed Nonsense, So You Think You're a Grown-up? (Special Edition), Smidgen of Dumbness, Cash-Mas, and Things to Make and Do.
1. |
The Ten Commandos
00:21
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2. |
Have Good Morals
02:53
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Try to have good morals all the time
If you don’t you just might lose your mind
So try to have good morals the time
‘Cuz you really do not wanna lose your mind
Try to have good morals all the time
If you don’t you just might lose your mind
So try to have good morals the time
‘Cuz you really do not wanna lose your mind
If you’re bad
You will wish that you had been good
You will wish that you would not have been
A person who wallowed in sin so much
But now you have lost touch
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3. |
Joe Speed Limit
07:10
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He bought a shiny new car
And now he thinks he’s a star
Burnin’ rubber all around town
He’s gonna run his life into the ground
If only he was a little bit more like...
Joe Speed Limit, never in a hurry
Joe Speed Limit, you don’t have to worry
Never speeds, never swears
Obeys the law
He really truly cares about the law
It’s unlawful exceeding the speed limit
It’s unlawful exceeding the speed limit
It’s unlawful, you’re not in a race
It’s unlawful, so watch your pace
Drive slow
The man couldn't take it anymore
He didn't know what the brakes were for
He hated traffic and he had a gun
And he did something that he wished
he hadn't done
If only he was a little bit more like...
Joe Speed Limit, never gets road rage
Joe Speed Limit, cools his temperature gauge
Never speeds, never swears
Obeys the law
He really truly cares about the law
It’s unlawful shooting other drivers
It’s unlawful shooting other drivers
It’s unlawful, you shouldn't rant and rave
It’s unlawful, just smile and wave
Don’t shoot
If only we were all a little bit more like...
Joe Speed Limit, never in a hurry
Joe Speed Limit, you don’t have to worry
Never speeds, never swears
Obeys the law
He really truly cares about the law
It’s unlawful exceeding the speed limit
It’s unlawful exceeding the speed limit
It’s unlawful, you’re not in a race
It’s unlawful, so watch your pace
Drive slow
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4. |
Don't Embezzle
01:58
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Money
Everybody wantey
Don’t be an imbecile
And don’t embezzle
That money don’t belong to you
Everybody’s got to earn their due
It’s not the right thing to do
The right thing to do
The right thing to do
Money
Don’t be and imbecile
Everybody wantey
And don’t embezzle
Money
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5. |
Nice Thing
03:39
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I was walkin' outside at the beach one day
When I got something wrapped around my leg
I didn't even know what the hell it was
But it sprayed ink all over my face
I threw it back into the water
So that it wouldn't die
‘Cuz I did a nice thing for a squid
Who did something mean to me
The thing I did to a squid was nice
But what he did was mean
I was layin’ on a hammock ‘cuz I broke my knees
When a poor old squirrel climbed on top of me
He threw a giant nut at my cryin’ face
And I just didn't know what to say
So I gave him a diamond
‘Cuz I didn't want him to be poor no more
‘Cuz I threw a nice thing to a squirrel
Who threw something mean to me
The thing I hurled to a squirrel was nice
But what he hurled was mean
I was at a sci-fi convention
Bearing only good intentions
When this little nerd who said I had cut in line
Pulled my hair and started to whine
I don’t know why but I didn't even mind
And I let him get his comic book signed
‘Cuz I did a nice thing for a square
Who did something mean to me
I didn't pull the hair of a square
Who pulled the hair of me
I’m just a nice guy in a world
That’s full of stuff that’s mean
Like I always say
If they kick you when your down don’t frown
Just laugh and turn the other cheek
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6. |
Beware of Danger!
02:36
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Danger! Danger!
Be careful, I don’t want you to die
When there’s a stranger, stranger
Be careful, don’t look him in the eye
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7. |
Moderate This
04:09
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You don’t have to eat every time you get bored
You will get fat
And your health will slip away
And you can’t get it back
And you will die unhappy
Whatcha got
Whatcha got that I can eat
‘Cuz I’m hungry
I want food, I need food, I want food
So feed me
Whatcha got
Whatcha got that I can eat
‘Cuz I’m hungry
I want food, I need food, I want food
So feed me
Your arteries will clog
And your heart will stop
If you eat to much
So practice moderation
Whatcha got
Whatcha got that I can eat
‘Cuz I’m hungry
I want food, I need food, I want food
So feed me
Food, Food, Food, Food
Food, Food, Food, Food
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8. |
Catherine The Cousin
04:44
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I was seven and a half when
I was at a family gatherin’
We were all eatin’ and laughin’
When I saw my cousin Catherine
We were chewin’ on some gumballs
Tryin' to think of what to do
I said let’s go play with marbles
So we both went to my room
I was playin’ with my cousin
Ooh! And then we started kissin’
But then she started cussin’
And I knew I shouldn’t listen
I will never listen to my kissin’ cousin cussin’
Cussin’ doesn’t make you cool, can’t you see that cousin
I will never listen to my kissin’ cousin cussin’
Cussin’ doesn’t make you cool, can’t you see that cousin
We were having such a good time
But she made it go away
Even though I know it’s not a crime
Let me tell you cussin’s not okay
I was young but I could still see
That those words were not too nice
If it was all up to me
Everyone who cussed would pay the price
I will never listen to my kissin’ cousin cussin’
Cussin’ doesn’t make you cool, can’t you see that cousin
I will never listen to my kissin’ cousin cussin’
Cussin’ doesn’t make you cool, cousin can’t you see
Cussin’ doesn’t make you cool, cousin can’t you see
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9. |
G.U.L.A.G.U.T.
04:36
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You've got problems
You can’t get it right
You kinda try hard
But you can’t win the fight
Don’t cry sissy
Keep tryin’ ‘cuz see
Grown-up losers are grown-ups too
Grown-up losers are grown-ups too
Don’t cry you sissy
Keep tryin’ sissy
So next time
You've got some punk in your face
Stand up tall
And put him back in his place
A few words you say
Can let everyone see
Remember their order is
G-U-L-A-G-U-T
Remember the acronym
And then say to him
Grown-up losers are grown-ups too
Grown-up losers are grown-ups too
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10. |
Reach for the Sky
05:45
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Reach for the top
Never stop tryin’
Go where you know
You will win
Reach for the sky
Make a better world for you and I
Fight to the end
Never bend to their will
Fly through the sky
To the top
To the end of your life
Reach for the sky
Make a better world for you and I
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11. |
Carpool
08:24
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Let’s all ride in the very same car
Designate a driver
We’ll ruin the air if we all drive that far
Designate a driver
The atmosphere should be our friend
Designate a driver
So pollution has to come to an end
Designate a driver
Let’s all do our part now to keep from
having so many automobiles on the road
at the same time
Breathing smog is killing us
Designate a driver
So start a carpool or ride a bus
Designate a driver
The earth is getting hotter each day
Do you want to kill it
So it’s clearly time we changed our ways
Do you want to kill it
Do you? You don’t.
Let’s all do our part now to keep from
having so many automobiles on the road
at the same time
The atmosphere should be our friend
Designate a driver
So pollution has to come to an end
Designate a driver
So let’s all ride in the very same car
Designate a driver
We’re all carpooling ‘round a very big star
Designate a driver
You don’t, do you?
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12. |
Wallaby (LIVE)
02:48
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13. |
It Came From Mars (LIVE)
06:42
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I was walking to school the other day
I was wearing my totally rad outfit
Everybody was loomking at me like I was awesome
And I knew that I was completely awesome
I walked into the classroom
All my classmates were speechless
There jaws dropped and they hit the floor
And I swung my arms
It came from Mars
It was right outside my window
It came from Mars
So I punched it in the left knee
And I ran away screaming
And it grabbed me by the head
It looked me in my two eyes
And this is what it said
"I come from Mars."
It came from Mars
naNa Na naNa Na
It came from Mars
naNa Na naNa Na
It came from Mars
naNa Na naNa Na
It came from Mars
naNa Na naNa Na
It came from...
My wardrobe is amazing
I wear everything that rocks
I catch people's eye from miles away
And they say, "Woah! Who's that bodacious fella?"
My teacher gave me an A for style
And she asked me out on a date
I said, "No. I don't think you could handle all the surfing and the partying and the drinking and the surfing."
It came from Mars
And it landed in my backyard
It came from Mars
And it threw a big ol' barbecue
And everyone is invited
We were all frightened and afraid
But it gave us all big bags of salt
and we were happy 'till forever
It came from Mars
And it flew around my body
It came from Mars
It flew over the hilltop
It came from Mars
it flew right over my father
It came from Mars
it flew out the door and then it flew back in
It came from Mars
And I was totally surprised
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14. |
Golden Goat (LIVE)
04:04
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No way up and no way down
No room in the middle
And there's no way around
Well, I can't go and I can't stay
My lungs are black
My brain is gray
I have seen the Golden Goat
And he would like to lick my throat
I know his mane, I know his spoor
I know he waits outside my door
That goat's too weak to do me harm
But he has got a big long arm
It fills my dreams, it's in my head
It makes me shake
and wet my bed
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15. |
Have Good Morals (LIVE)
01:24
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Try to have good morals all the time
If you don’t you just might lose your mind
So try to have good morals the time
‘Cuz you really do not wanna lose your mind
Try to have good morals all the time
If you don’t you just might lose your mind
So try to have good morals the time
‘Cuz you really do not wanna lose your mind
If you’re bad
You will wish that you had been good
You will wish that you would not have been
A person who wallowed in sin so much
But now you have lost touch
|
||||
16. |
Don't Embezzle (LIVE)
01:18
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Money
Everybody wantey
Don’t be an imbecile
And don’t embezzle
That money don’t belong to you
Everybody’s got to earn their due
It’s not the right thing to do
The right thing to do
The right thing to do
Money
Don’t be and imbecile
Everybody wantey
And don’t embezzle
Money
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17. |
Reach for the Sky (LIVE)
03:08
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Reach for the top
Never stop tryin’
Go where you know
You will win
Reach for the sky
Make a better world for you and I
Fight to the end
Never bend to their will
Fly through the sky
To the top
To the end of your life
Reach for the sky
Make a better world for you and I
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18. |
||||
I been stuck behind these old black bars
For as long as I can remember
But I'll be bustin' out later this fall
Or maybe late in December
I stole the gun from the bumblin' deputy
Now all I want is to be free and have...
Golden Diamonds
Give me all your golden diamonds, baby
This here's not a stick-up
It's Christmas
Found my way to a Christmas Gala Ball
And I busted in through the wall
They started screamin' at the top of their lungs
But I just started firin' my guns
I said "Pipe down!
Where's your Christmas spirit?
I been a real good boy all year!"
Golden Diamonds
Give me all your golden diamonds, baby
This here's not a stick-up
It's Christmas!
I remember them Christmas songs
That my Momma used to sing me
But I ain't Momma's little boy no more
And if they find him their gonna hang me
But if they take me Momma don't cry
Just go and find the treasure
Buried under neath the sign that says,
"Golden Diamonds:
Here's all the golden diamonds I stole
If you want them have them
For Christmas."
Ahh
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19. |
||||
One, two, three, four
There was this band
Called Horse-Body and the Buckrockers
They were so cool
They played their music really well
And they're my favorite band
Oh, Yeah! They're my favorite band
Oh! They rock the house everywhere they play, baby
Don't you know
And they're my favorite band
Oh, Yeah! They're my favorite band
Favorite band of mine
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20. |
Nice Thing (LIVE)
02:35
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I was walkin' outside at the beach one day
When I got something wrapped around my leg
I didn't even know what the hell it was
But it sprayed ink all over my face
I threw it back into the water
So that it wouldn't die
‘Cuz I did a nice thing for a squid
Who did something mean to me
The thing I did to a squid was nice
But what he did was mean
I was layin’ on a hammock ‘cuz I broke my knees
When a poor old squirrel climbed on top of me
He threw a giant nut at my cryin’ face
And I just didn't know what to say
So I gave him a diamond
‘Cuz I didn't want him to be poor no more
‘Cuz I threw a nice thing to a squirrel
Who threw something mean to me
The thing I hurled to a squirrel was nice
But what he hurled was mean
I was at a sci-fi convention
Bearing only good intentions
When this little nerd who said I had cut in line
Pulled my hair and started to whine
I don’t know why but I didn't even mind
And I let him get his comic book signed
‘Cuz I did a nice thing for a square
Who did something mean to me
I didn't pull the hair of a square
Who pulled the hair of me
I’m just a nice guy in a world
That’s full of stuff that’s mean
Like I always say
If they kick you when your down don’t frown
Just laugh and turn the other cheek
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21. |
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I was seven and a half when
I was at a family gatherin’
We were all eatin’ and laughin’
When I saw my cousin Catherine
We were chewin’ on some gumballs
Tryin' to think of what to do
I said let’s go play with marbles
So we both went to my room
I was playin’ with my cousin
Ooh! And then we started kissin’
But then she started cussin’
And I knew I shouldn’t listen
I will never listen to my kissin’ cousin cussin’
Cussin’ doesn’t make you cool, can’t you see that cousin
I will never listen to my kissin’ cousin cussin’
Cussin’ doesn’t make you cool, can’t you see that cousin
We were having such a good time
But she made it go away
Even though I know it’s not a crime
Let me tell you cussin’s not okay
I was young but I could still see
That those words were not too nice
If it was all up to me
Everyone who cussed would pay the price
I will never listen to my kissin’ cousin cussin’
Cussin’ doesn’t make you cool, can’t you see that cousin
I will never listen to my kissin’ cousin cussin’
Cussin’ doesn’t make you cool, cousin can’t you see
Cussin’ doesn’t make you cool, cousin can’t you see
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22. |
Joe Speed Limit (LIVE)
04:45
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He bought a shiny new car
And now he thinks he’s a star
Burnin’ rubber all around town
He’s gonna run his life into the ground
If only he was a little bit more like...
Joe Speed Limit, never in a hurry
Joe Speed Limit, you don’t have to worry
Never speeds, never swears
Obeys the law
He really truly cares about the law
It’s unlawful exceeding the speed limit
It’s unlawful exceeding the speed limit
It’s unlawful, you’re not in a race
It’s unlawful, so watch your pace
Drive slow
The man couldn't take it anymore
He didn't know what the brakes were for
He hated traffic and he had a gun
And he did something that he wished
he hadn't done
If only he was a little bit more like...
Joe Speed Limit, never gets road rage
Joe Speed Limit, cools his temperature gauge
Never speeds, never swears
Obeys the law
He really truly cares about the law
It’s unlawful shooting other drivers
It’s unlawful shooting other drivers
It’s unlawful, you shouldn't rant and rave
It’s unlawful, just smile and wave
Don’t shoot
If only we were all a little bit more like...
Joe Speed Limit, never in a hurry
Joe Speed Limit, you don’t have to worry
Never speeds, never swears
Obeys the law
He really truly cares about the law
It’s unlawful exceeding the speed limit
It’s unlawful exceeding the speed limit
It’s unlawful, you’re not in a race
It’s unlawful, so watch your pace
Drive slow
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23. |
Touch Me (LIVE)
02:05
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Touch me when you're pouting
Touch me when you cry
Touch me when you're shouting
Touch me and I'm telling you why
Touch me if you've been bad or good
Touch me when you're sleeping
Touch me when you're awake
Touch me when you've been bad or good
Touch me for goodness sake
Touch me if you've been bad or good
I'm making a list and I'm checking it twice
Touch me all you who've been naughty
Touch me all you who've been nice
Touch me if you've been bad or good
Ho Ho Ho! You've been bad or good!
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24. |
Beware of Danger (LIVE)
01:46
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Danger! Danger!
Be careful, I don’t want you to die
When there’s a stranger, stranger
Be careful, don’t look him in the eye
|
||||
25. |
Carpool Intro (LIVE)
02:39
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26. |
Carpool (LIVE)
04:56
|
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Let’s all ride in the very same car
Designate a driver
We’ll ruin the air if we all drive that far
Designate a driver
The atmosphere should be our friend
Designate a driver
So pollution has to come to an end
Designate a driver
Let’s all do our part now to keep from
having so many automobiles on the road
at the same time
Breathing smog is killing us
Designate a driver
So start a carpool or ride a bus
Designate a driver
The earth is getting hotter each day
Do you want to kill it
So it’s clearly time we changed our ways
Do you want to kill it
Do you? You don’t.
Let’s all do our part now to keep from
having so many automobiles on the road
at the same time
The atmosphere should be our friend
Designate a driver
So pollution has to come to an end
Designate a driver
So let’s all ride in the very same car
Designate a driver
We’re all carpooling ‘round a very big star
Designate a driver
You don’t, do you?
|
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27. |
Brain Impaler (LIVE)
02:12
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Last week was a very special day
Things were there and everything was okay
Malt shops selling soda pops
The sun was perfectly orange
And there I saw her
Drinking an orange soda in the orange sun
Was Brain Impaler
She was perfect
Webbed feet and a crooked nose
She makes my heart stop
Every time I smell her
Brain Imapler I love you
We shared our arms and carried things
My hours were bliss and infinitely cool
And then it happened again...
Again...
Brain Impaler had made me cry
And the pain it really sucked
Brain Impaler made me die
And now I'm totally not cool
Webbed feet and a crooked nose
She makes my heart stop
Every time I smell her
Brain Imapler I love you
Now it's a new day
My skin is still totally fresh
Everything is turning around again
Brain Impaler left me alone
And the sun has turned yellow
Everything are things that cry
And I am alone
Brain Impaler goodbye
Webbed feet and a crooked nose
She makes my heart stop
Every time I smell her
Brain Imapler goodbye
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Wizards of Boat Lafayette, Louisiana
Two brain halves of the same man hurtled backwards through time from another dimension, Wizards of Boat steal top of the charts hooks and melodies from the future to save humanity. Sometimes different, never the same, and always pushing the limits of infinity, Wizards of Boat go where other bands don't bother. It is, most likely, something you've never heard. ... more
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