Smidgen of Dumbness

by Wizards of Boat

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about

This album has something for everyone, and a bunch for a few people. Some of the catchiest WoB tunes are nestled right here with a heaping dollop of stupidity. Enjoy!

credits

released July 30, 2014

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all rights reserved

about

Wizards of Boat Lafayette, Louisiana

Two brain halves of the same man hurtled backwards through time from another dimension, Wizards of Boat steal top of the charts hooks and melodies from the future to save humanity. Sometimes different, never the same, and always pushing the limits of infinity, Wizards of Boat go where other bands don't bother. It is, most likely, something you've never heard. ... more

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Track Name: Wild Goose Inn
I saw this in a dream
It was just like this
I saw this in a dream

You believe me, don't you?
You don't think I'm crazy?
I believe you.
You believe me? You're crazy!

The only demons in this town
Are assholes who try to create them

Next time we hunt bears
You seem to put the whole piece together, have you?
I'm just trying to make conversation.
Well, you're sure doing a shitty job

What the hell's going on here?
Who the hell are you?

Fucka.
Track Name: Android Collector
Take the robots to the room
and never let them leave
no matter how they scream and shout
No matter how the grieve

If you choose to disobey us
you will not be spared
No matter where you run and hide
Yes, you will be ensnared

The task you have given me I will perform
The robots will be no more so we can reform
There is no need to worry for I can complete this deed
And it will be accomplished with not only tact, but speed
Track Name: It Came From Mars
I was walking to school the other day
I was wearing my totally rad outfit
Everybody was loomking at me like I was awesome
And I knew that I was completely awesome

I walked into the classroom
All my classmates were speechless
There jaws dropped and they hit the floor
And I swung my arms

It came from Mars
It was right outside my window
It came from Mars
So I punched it in the left knee
And I ran away screaming
And it grabbed me by the head
It looked me in my two eyes
And this is what it said
"I come from Mars."

It came from Mars
naNa Na naNa Na
It came from Mars
naNa Na naNa Na
It came from Mars
naNa Na naNa Na
It came from Mars
naNa Na naNa Na
It came from...

My wardrobe is amazing
I wear everything that rocks
I catch people's eye from miles away
And they say, "Woah! Who's that bodacious fella?"

My teacher gave me an A for style
And she asked me out on a date
I said, "No. I don't think you could handle all the surfing and the partying and the drinking and the surfing."

It came from Mars
And it landed in my backyard
It came from Mars
And it threw a big ol' barbecue
And everyone is invited
We were all frightened and afraid
But it gave us all big bags of salt
and we were happy 'till forever

It came from Mars
And it flew around my body
It came from Mars
It flew over the hilltop
It came from Mars
it flew right over my father
It came from Mars
it flew out the door and then it flew back in
It came from Mars

And I was totally surprised
Track Name: What Scares Bugs?
So what scares bugs?
That is what I was gonna ask ya
Bugs!
Probably that only two or four legs
Creepy
Track Name: Man-Biter
Don't let them bite you
Don't let them bite you
Track Name: Brain Impaler
Last week was a very special day
Things were there and everything was okay
Malt shops selling soda pops
The sun was perfectly orange

And there I saw her
Drinking an orange soda in the orange sun
Was Brain Impaler
She was perfect

Webbed feet and a crooked nose
She makes my heart stop
Every time I smell her
Brain Imapler I love you

We shared our arms and carried things
My hours were bliss and infinitely cool
And then it happened again...
Again...

Brain Impaler had made me cry
And the pain it really sucked
Brain Impaler made me die
And now I'm totally not cool

Webbed feet and a crooked nose
She makes my heart stop
Every time I smell her
Brain Imapler I love you

Now it's a new day
My skin is still totally fresh
Everything is turning around again

Brain Impaler left me alone
And the sun has turned yellow
Everything are things that cry
And I am alone
Brain Impaler goodbye

Webbed feet and a crooked nose
She makes my heart stop
Every time I smell her
Brain Imapler goodbye
Track Name: Pulsing Mass of Something
At the bottom of the tub
There's a pulsing mass of something
Track Name: Dirty Moonbase
I've been living here
On my Dirty Moonbase C
I'm not used to everything
You're not used to me

Ahhh
Let's fight!
Hahahaaa!

(slow motion fightin' words)
Track Name: 1,000,000 Flowers
A million flowers eating my brain
A million flowers eating my two brains
A million flowers eating a million brains

A million flowers don't eat my brain
A million flowers don't eat my two brains
A million flowers please stop eating a million brains
Track Name: Touch Me(Bad or Good)
Touch me when you're pouting
Touch me when you cry
Touch me when you're shouting
Touch me and I'm telling you why

Touch me if you've been bad or good

Touch me when you're sleeping
Touch me when you're awake
Touch me when you've been bad or good
Touch me for goodness sake

Touch me if you've been bad or good

I'm making a list and I'm checking it twice
Touch me all you who've been naughty
Touch me all you who've been nice

Touch me if you've been bad or good

Ho Ho Ho! You've been bad or good!
Track Name: Captain Beard M.D.
Captain Beard M.D.
Lived on the land of the ocean sea
Piratin' up the town
With a wooden beard and a permanent frown

Captain Beard M.D.
Rape and pillage and surgery
He'll mend your broken bones
Then send you to meet Davy Jones
Track Name: Five O'Clock Charlie
I've got a feeling
Oh yes I do
My baby's been sleeping with somebody new
He says he's busy when I'm feeling lonely
Is he telling the truth? I don't think so

I've got a feeling
Oh, yes I do
My baby's been stealing my love
and now I feel blue

Maybe I'm crazy
It's all in my head
Or maybe I should just go to bed.
Track Name: Sausage Kingdom
You seem to have changed a little, baby
You seem to have gained
or lost
a vital organ
Playing our love
Note by note
Singing songs we thought we'd never sing

Oh, please

You are not the same
As you used to be
You are missing something
In your personality

Maybe it's your body
But maybe it's your right arm
And
I'm not sure
You'll have to get back to me
later

Is it your body?
Is it your right arm?
I'm not sure but I'm on the investigation team
Track Name: Gravitational Lament
I'm bound y the laws of gravity
I can't escape it's clutch on me
No matter how I run and hide
To the earth I am still tied

I'm bound by it's enormous mass
There is no way for me to pass
Through all the atmosphere and gas
To escape to outer space

We're slaves to gravity
Oh Wee Oh
Track Name: Concession Theme Song
Eat it!
eat it eat it
drink it
eat it
eat it eat it
drink it
eat it
Track Name: System
Nervous System
Nervous System

Buddy System
Buddy System
Buddy System

The system's connected to the system
The system's connected to the system
I said the system's connected to the system
The system's connected to the system

Entertainment System
Entertainment System
Entertainment System
Entertainment System

The Sewer system
Sewer system
Sewer system
Sewer system

The system's connected to the system
The system's connected to the system
The system's connected to the system
The system the system the system the system

Dewey Decimal System
Dewey Decimal Dewey Decimal System
Dewey Decimal System
Dewey Decimal System

Eco System
Eco System
Eco System

The system's connected to the system
The system's connected to the system
The system's connected to the system
The system's connected to the system

Hah
Solar system
Solar system

Open System
Open System
Open System

the system's connected to the system
the system's connected to the system
Track Name: Bad Conscience
Jump off the bridge
Take a stranger's candy
Eat the cat
Blame it on your little brother
Disobey the pedestrian signal
Think about your mom wrong
Rob the graveyard
Test chemicals on animals
Sabotage a funeral
Lower awareness about AIDS
Drown a kid in got's blood
Procrastinate
Track Name: Factory Tour
It is at this stage where the rubber stopper is applied
This sort of thing will keep mom from ever finding out
Track Name: Robot Catering
Da dada da nda
Da dada da nda

Robot Catering
A simple for the food to bring
Hors d'oeuvres, bowls of punch
Breakfast, dinner, even lunch

How would you like to try
A finger sandwich served by an android
Or maybe a deviled egg brought to you
By the hand of an imitation man

Or would you like to dance
We provide a DJ or robotic band
And here's our guarantee
It's 100% synthetic humanity

Call us today
We'll be on our way
Call us today

Da dada da nda
Da dada da nda
Track Name: Any Other Girl
Will I ever meet another girl like you?
Who can fill me up with happiness and a love so true?
Will I ever meet another girl like you?
No, I'll never meet another girl like you.

Will I ever meet another girl so sweet?
Who can make me feel all tingly from my head down to my feet?
Will I ever meet another girl like you?
No, I'll never meet another girl like you.

Will I ever meet another girl with so much beauty?
Who can make feel so happy with the things she says to me?
Will I ever meet another girl like you?
No I'll never meet another girl like you.

Is there any other girl who'll hold me tight?
And whose gentle voice and soft caress will see me through the night?
Will I ever meet another girl like you?
No, I'll ever meet another girl like you.

Will I ever meet another girl like you?
Who I love beyond my wildest dreams and loves me too?
But now lately baby I've been feeling blue.
'Cuz I'll never meet another girl like you.
Track Name: Wizards of Boat Theme Song 2000
Wizards of Boat, they are the jingle makers of the now
Wizards of Boat, they are the jingle makers of the now

Wizards of Boat, they are the jingle makers of the now